he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
