hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
