He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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