I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
