I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
