how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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