I wanna passion pit in your ass
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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