I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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