bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize