Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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