Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This toilet bowl is my home.
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