dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Come share oat with me in your robe
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
