You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
