yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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