OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
