David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
