shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
