Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
