found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
