I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
