the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
