Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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