I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Randomize
