i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
