he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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