Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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