Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
