The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize