Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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