why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize