woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
