kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
