i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
