then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
