I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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