They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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