dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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