Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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