Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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