she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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