I didn't shave. On purpose
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
