I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I am available for nakedness
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
