Yo dont text me then not text me
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
