dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
