My room smells like vodka and shame
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
