Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize