so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
