she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I would fuck him just for his dog
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