If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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