Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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