Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize