This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
