Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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