Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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