Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
