am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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