Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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