Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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