So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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