sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize