does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
