your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
