I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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