The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
