I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
