It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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