The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
