high people should be assigned attendants
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
