I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
